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A Day in The Life of Marmite!

I get up at about 6 o’clock to see what is happening, I don’t live at work, I live down the road with the bosses parents. It’s not far though and I can get there without going on a road.

I normally sit on the windowsill watching who is arriving and making sure they are on time and don’t do anything they shouldn’t. The team all work funny hours and come and go at varying times of the day and night, sometimes I hear funny noises during the night so hop up onto the windowsill to check the gate.

I spot the papers being delivered, normally just before 7 and then Bill and I wander up to fetch them while the kettle boils in the house. Sometimes I have a quick spin around the yard, often not much going on but worth a quick leg stretch, I normally end up back at the house at about 7.15 ready to see what I can scavenge from the house breakfast table.

I usually see if I can escape at about 7.50am (there are varying tactics for this) and then trot up to the warehouse coffee area, they are always chatting about stuff and what is going on during the day. It is a good opportunity for me to meet with the guys who give me the bits from their pack ups, not usually much to eat at this time of the day, but it is always worth checking…you never know!

As everyone settles down to work I amble back down to see where Bill is and if he is ready for my morning gallop around the farm, if he isn’t keen I sit and see if I can stare him out and make him feel guilty about not taking me for a walk, if he is going out somewhere I always trick him and make sure I am in the car and then I get a day out too (lots of stories to tell of my ‘outhouse’ adventures and you should see the state of Bills car!). If my plan works I usually get Bill to venture out when he finishes the crossword (at least The Times one anyway) then he does the Suduko when he gets back. The walks are the best fun as I get to see where all the rabbits, pheasants and other wildlife are and get to chase them away. There is one black pheasant at the moment and he is so lazy he really does not want to fly, but I make sure he has to, time he got fit, too much split maize in his tummy! I can usually have a good sniff in the rabbit holes and if I am really lucky there will be a hare to chase that stretches my legs and gives my heart something to think about, I don’t think I will ever catch one but they don’t know that and it is fun trying.

Back from the walk hopefully in time for coffee break, I don’t have a watch but I have a good sense of timing and seem to know just the right time to turn up for snacks and to simply busy myself amongst the team. If not it is always worth going around to see if they dropped anything so I play my part in keeping the food cleared up so we don’t get to many rodents in the warehouses, always a problem especially with the cold weather we have been having recently.

If there is nothing doing I do some fork truck dodging to see if I can make anyone break really hard because they think I am going to be run over, usually makes me smile as I dart from pallet to pallet to see if they can spot where I have gone. By now I am thinking it is time for a lay down, I have my own chair in the house now and luckily it is in the sun most of the day in the conservatory, so I get on that and have a good sleep, always keeping one eye open though for any opportunity for mischief should it arise. I don’t know whose chair it used to be, but it is definitely mine now and they have even put a special blanket on it for me.

Lunchtime comes and goes, there is a whole story in there about how I go about my lunchtime tactics but that’s is for another time. Lunch in the house is not so exciting since Cindy got married and moved to John’s house, but still a great time to relax and chill out before the afternoon’s action. If I am lucky, Bill or Val will take a trip to the office where some real fun can be found…plenty of bins to be tipped over and the team in there seem to love me for some reason. If Bill leaves me outside I scamper around the Operations Office door, it is always opening and closing so I can sneak in. We then play the ‘where is Bill game’ as I run around the office and everyone is helping trying to tell me where he is by shouting my name…great fun. If it is cold, Ruby (Danny’s dog) is sometimes in there, although she shouldn’t be as Tim says the office is not a kennel, but if she is there I get to have a good growl and bark at her, she is massive but when I do some loud growling and make like I am a big fierce thing, she runs away, it is so cool.

So the afternoon wears on and I return to the house, the days are short and cold so I just go home and lie by the fire and sleep. Then at 3 o’clock I decide it is time for my tea and take up position in front of Val (she normally watches the racing in the afternoon) and simply sit there (stare her out too) until she decides it is easier to feed me rather than watch me watching her – it is a great game.

One of my favourite times of the day now as Sooty, they very old farm cat, comes to the house for food, if indeed he has left his lofty bed in the laundry where he can sleep all day if I don’t chase him out, not sure what he does to make him so tired but he can be very lazy.

More to follow about my escapades down at the yard with the Henson Franklyn Team…I will have to keep a diary!